It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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