The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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