Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
