I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize