i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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