Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
