I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
