Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
