I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
