I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
