Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
