Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
this just has baby written all over it
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We left the knife in your bed.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
