Fuck appropriateness.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
im holly from the hills drunk
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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