i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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