I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
