Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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