Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
