first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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