Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
