I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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