I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
