I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
