I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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