Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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