I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
