just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I had to cum in my sink.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
