She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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