I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
