Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
