I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
