tell your sister to shave her snatch
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
