I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I have already put on my inside pants.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize