i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Less talking, more tequila
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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