Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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