ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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