That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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