i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
