Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
