that's an acceptable place to lick
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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