I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
