I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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