I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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