I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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