They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
