Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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