How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
