I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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