I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
