I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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