Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Randomize