Need sex. Gaining weight.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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