Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
