I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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