I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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