It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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