ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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