Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
