I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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