Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
