Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize