I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
