The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
