Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
